Man vs. Infertility
( I wrote this twelve years ago; reposting on her 17th birthday) I knew I’d never be a father. I wanted desperately to be a father, but after 17 years of marriage it just didn’t seem like it was going to happen. We’d pursued adoption three times and each time it had fallen through. Susanne got pregnant once about 12 years into our journey. It was a complete shock to her doctor and us. We enjoyed one week of excitement before she miscarried. While I really wanted to be a father there was a place, deep inside me, where I knew it wasn’t going to happen. It was angry resignation that accused God of giving me the desire to be a father while working against me to make sure it would never happen. So the night of November 1, 2005, when we slept in a hospital room with ou...